Review of Deep Space 9 Episode 1.02 "Past Prologue"

I'm in the process of rewatching Star Trek: Deep Space 9 and reviewing/recapping each episode in detail. Join me in my in depth look at the deepest and most complex Star Trek series to date.

A Bajoran terrorist named Tahna Los barely escapes pursuing Cardassians and requests asylum aboard DS9. He turns out to have a history with Major Kira, who advocates for him. He insists that his days of violence are over, but with the help of Plain Simple Garak, who uses the naive Bashir as his unwitting accomplice, the crew of DS9 discover that Tahna may not be sincere about his intentions on the station, and the tense confrontation that results will influence the future of Bajor.

The is the first “normal” episode of the show and it continues the high quality storytelling and character development from the pilot. The plot here is pretty complicated, but the writing is sharp and the directing and editing is tight, which gives the whole episode a polish that is rare for a show so early in its run, particularly by ST standards. TNG is great, but there is no doubt that is stumbled a lot in its first two seasons. While season 1 is probably my least favorite from DS9, that is mainly just because the show continually got better as it went, and not due to any real flaws with the season, aside from perhaps some claustrophobia setting-wise.

In general, Bajoran episodes are among my least favorite ones on DS9 (probably mainly because they always feature Kira, who is my least favorite character on the show), but the excellent use of suspense and tension and some really great pacing (not to mention a lot of great moments with Garak and/or the Duras sisters) makes this episode highly enjoyable in spite of poorly-acted Kira tantrums and those awful drab Bajoran uniforms.

THE GOOD

• Garak!! I think arguably the best part about DS9 is the deep roster of great recurring characters like Garak, Dukat, Weyoun, Damar, Martok, etc. The overall acting talent of the main cast is pretty average at best, but the recurring characters are almost always a highlight of any episode they appear in. And of all the best recurring characters, Garak is my favorite (well, he and Damar are tied as my favs). Andrew Robinson’s acting is incredible and he absolutely oozes a serpentine quality that is perfect for the enigmatic Cardassian tailor. Watching him toy with Bashir in this episode is like seeing an apex predator play with its food. You really never know what Garak is going to do next, and every scene with him is just a joy to watch.
• I love seeing the Duras sisters here. They are cartoonishly evil but immensely amusing. For better or worse, they capture your full attention every time they are on screen. And having another TNG cameo effectively reinforces what Picard’s presence in the pilot was showing--that these two series are taking place at the same time in the same basic setting.
• “Go over my head again, and I’ll have yours...on a platter.” One thing I love about Sisko is his ‘no BS’ attitude. Even the ever-petulant Kira was cowed by that dressing-down.
• The Odo and Kira scene in the security office is good. Even though I don’t care for Kira very much, their friendship is nice and Rene Auberjonois is a really great actor who gets to shine here.

THE BAD

• The Bajoran clothes and uniforms are ugly and I hate them. Every Bajoran-centric episode is 10% less enjoyable due to that alone.
• Some mediocre acting from the guy who plays Tahna, as well as by Nana Visitor, drags the scenes down a bit where it’s just the two of them.

THE UGLY

• Runabout roster: Ganges, Yangtzee Kiang, Rio Grande
• Odo shapeshift count: 1 (rat), 3 total for series
• If Gul Danar looks familiar, that’s because he is played by Vaughn Armstrong, who has played a total of eleven different ST characters to date. This is his second appearance, with his role as a renegade Klingon in the TNG season 1 episode “Heart of Glory” being his first, and Admiral Maxwell Forest on ENT being his most numerous and recognizable.
• I was curious why the Ganges has a extra module on its dorsal side that the Yangtzee Kiang doesn’t have. Turns out that is an advanced sensor module, which explains why the Ganges can monitor the Yangtzee around the moon but not vice-versa.
• It’s unclear why Tahna said he needed a warp-capable ship for his mission. Everything seems to take place within the Bajoran system, so a sublight ship would work just fine. However, the top speed of a Danube-class runabout is Warp 5, which about 200 times the speed of light. Since it takes them about 2.5 minutes to get to DS9, that implies that DS9 is 9 billion kilometers away, or about 60 AU. For reference, Neptune is about 30 AU from the sun, which means that DS9 and the wormhole are probably very far out on edge the Bajoran solar system and would make a sublight journey possibly take a very long time, increasing the chances his plan would be detected and stopped. 
• The Cardassian ship takes about 4 minutes to reach DS9 from the Cardassian border. The top speed of a Galor-class cruiser is around warp 8 (about 1000 times the speed of light), which means the Cardassian border is only .008 light years away, or about 493 AU. This implies that a large part of the Bajoran system’s Oort cloud (if it has one) isn’t even in Bajoran space, as the Oort cloud is believed to be able to extend more than a lightyear from its parent star. 
• Dax and someone else should have been piloting the Ganges, not Sisko and O’Brien. It makes no sense for the CO and chief engineer to be doing that job. It would have been nice for Dax to actually have something to do in the episode, too.

RATING: 8/10

The Saga Continues: Episode II Attack of the Clones

I just finished re-watching all six Lucas-era Star Wars films in episode order (I-VI) with the commentary and want to give my reviews of each film. Let me preface by saying that I am a lifelong Star Wars fan who grew up with the original trilogy and literally have no memory of a time in my life before SW. As such, I am not going to be totally unbiased in my reviews, but I will try to be somewhat objective.

Attack of the Clones begins ten years after The Phantom Menace. After an assassination attempt on (now) Senator Amidala's life, Obi-Wan and Anakin are called in to protect her—Anakin as her bodyguard and Obi-Wan as a detective following an intergalactic trail of evidence to discover who is trying to kill her and why. The investigation leads him to discover many dark secrets about the Jedi, the Republic, and who has been pulling the strings this whole time. As a result, a war erupts between the Republic and the Separatists under the control of the mysterious Sith lord, Darth Sidious. Begun, the Clone Wars have.

Let me start by saying that this is definitely my least favorite of the six Lucas films. The love story is tedious, there's no exceptional actors to make up for the absence of Liam Neeson, the cgi is too much, and Anakin is so unlikable that you almost stop caring that he will eventually turn evil. George Lucas loves to describe Anakin's story as a tragedy in the vein of a classic Greek play, but a tragedy where the tragic figure is not sympathetic is not a very good tragedy at all.

All that said, I still enjoy this film a bit. The politics are probably the saving grace of this one.

THE GOOD

• Christopher Lee is the one great actor but unfortunately he doesn't even appear until halfway through the movie. Still, every scene he is in is a treat.
• The way Palpatine has manipulated everything is absolutely masterful to see. It can be lost in the mess of cgi and Anakin's temper tantrums, but in this movie it's established that Palpatine (possibly through Dooku) created a clone army with the intention of starting a civil war eventually and giving that clone army to the Republic as massive Trojan Horse. He then orchestrated the assassination attempts on Padme, in order to lead the Jedi to Kamino where they would discover the clone army created for them (and also made sure Padme and Anakin were placed together so he would develop a forbidden attachment to her--the fatal weakness he would eventually exploit to turn Anakin to the Dark Side). Meanwhile, he continued to play the Separatists from both sides to artificially create this conflict to keep him in office and allow him to accumulate more executive power. Finally, the whole time he was grooming Anakin and pushing him to explore his dark side so that he could eventually make him his new apprentice. All around it's a brilliant work of art to see in action, and really he deserved to become emperor because he was way smarter and more competent than the Jedi or anyone else in these movies.
• Love seeing the Slave I. It might be my favorite ship in the SW universe.

THE BAD

• Anakin is a petulant, unlikable, self-centered brat. I almost couldn't wait for him to fall into the lava in the next movie because then I wouldn't have to look at his stupid whiny face anymore. However, if you think about it, Vader was occasionally petulant in the original trilogy too, so I guess it's in character (strangling people for disagreeing with him, for example).
• The cgi is just...way too much. The alien that Obi-Wan meets in the diner in particular just looks so fake. And it really makes me angry (probably irrationally so) when they tell us repeatedly in the commentary that not a single clone trooper suit was built and they were all 100% cgi. The whole movie feels inconsequential and fake because of how overboard they went on the cgi.
• The love story is hard to watch. It's not believable that a brilliant, mature, and successful woman with a good head on her shoulders would fall in love with a petulant, emotionally unstable child. And Anakin is straight up creepy towards her in the scenes on Coruscant and Naboo. The scenes on Tatooine where he finally quits creeping on her and they talk like friends are actually very good and with more interactions like that, the love story might have been more believable.
• The dialogue, as always.

THE UGLY

• The fact that the Jedi don't seem concerned about the origins of the clone army and just decide to use it without asking any questions is pretty massive incompetence on their part. In fact, throughout these prequels their complacency and incompetence makes me think they deserved to get wiped out. Yoda is the worst offender here, as he is supposed to be extremely wise and powerful and yet throughout the movies he repeatedly makes critical mistakes that lead to the fall of the Jedi (allowing Anakin to be trained, using and trusting the clone army, not figuring out who was pulling the strings, etc.).
• I know the Expanded Universe is not canon and now isn't even part of SW anymore thanks to Disney, but the EU background for Boba Fett was that he was from a race of elite warriors called the Mandalorians and he has fought against the Jedi in the Clone Wars. This movie establishing him as a stormtrooper clone and a kid instead is just...infinitely less interesting.

RATING: 6/10

Best Pilot for a Trek Series

I'm in the process of rewatching Star Trek: Deep Space 9 and reviewing/recapping each episode in detail. Join me in my in depth look at the deepest and most complex Star Trek series to date.

1.01 “Emissary”

Newly reassigned Commander Benjamin Sisko and his hodgepodge crew attempt to restore a former Cardassian space station into something resembling a Federation outpost, far on the outskirts of Federation space and crewed by a combination of Starfleet and Bajoran personnel. They get way more than they bargained for when a the first stable wormhole in the galaxy is discovered in their backyard, and a showdown ensues with the Cardassians, who are bitter about having to abandon Bajor and eager to claim the new discovery for themselves. But the inhabitants and creators of the wormhole are far more than they seem, and their role in the Bajor-Cardassia conflict will have consequences that stretch for years in the future and indeed beyond the bounds of time itself.

Star Trek: The Next Generation had so much success that Paramount decided not to even wait until it was off the air to begin a spinoff, with season 1 of DS9 more or less coinciding with TNG season 6. Gene Roddenberry having recently passed on, the new series would not be guided by his unrealistically optimistic vision of the future, but rather be a far more human and gritty view of the future. Deep Space Nine is really the most relatable and emotion-infused of the Star Trek shows by far. Building off of what was established in TOS and TNG, DS9 was able to create the deepest and most complex of all the many ST series without being bound by Roddenberry’s overly-restrictive mandates that everyone always get along and Federation society being portrayed as perfectly utopian. What we get instead is a refreshingly honest and wholly human (ironic considering the most human characters are often aliens) depiction of life in the 24th century.

As for the episode’s story, it was brilliantly set up by TNG in episodes like “The Wounded” and “Ensign Ro.” Long before “Emissary” ever saw the airwaves, we were already quite familiar with the worlds of Bajor, Cardassia, and the conflict that has raged between them for generations. This is very fortunate, because the plot of “Emissary” is quite complex, and not having to engage in an excessive amount of world-building allowed the writers to spend more time setting up the characters and their specific conflicts, which are equally as complex as the plot (even more so, actually).

Due to this prior exposition, “Emissary” is able to concentrate so purely on its plot and characters that it ends up being the best ST pilot to date (granted, the bar was not high). The story is not only engaging, but it sets up a conflict that will persist without tiring for seven seasons (and beyond), while also introducing some of the deepest and most layered characters to ever exist in the ST universe. Although its highest points never match those of TNG and TOS, its consistency across seven season makes DS9 equal to those shows in terms of overall quality and it all starts with a pilot that far surpasses “Farpoint” or the various TOS pilots.

THE GOOD

• Using Picard to launch the show was brilliant. The scenes he is in a great, but DS9 takes things to the next level by having Picard be in many ways the bad guy. This is a man we have spent five seasons growing in admiration for, and suddenly our new protagonist despises him to the core. What genius way to simultaneously link these shows together and also distance them from each other. The tone is set immediately: this is definitely Trek, but very different from TNG. The undisguised contempt Sisko shows for Picard, combined with the deep pain seen in Picard’s eyes at the mention of Wolf 359 is just an incredible interaction between two great characters. A million points to the writers (and Patrick Stewart) for these scenes.
• It’s honestly amazing to me how the story threads that are started in this episode are carried through so seamlessly for seven seasons. You’d think that the Cardassian-Bajoran conflict would run its course within a few seasons, but the incredibly complex dynamics of the wormholes, the Prophets, and especially the Dominion allow that conflict to persist for the entire series run without ever drying up narratively. This episode becomes truly brilliant when viewed through the lens of all seven seasons.
• Colm Meaney. He was criminally underutilized on TNG and moving him to DS9 was a great decision to let an all time great actor have a starring role that was long overdue.

THE BAD

• Odo’s makeup isn’t great in this ep. He looks skeletal.
• Nana Visitor is a bad actress and her character mostly annoys me. She’s not as bad as, say, Troi or Neelix, but she definitely is a weak spot in an otherwise pretty good cast.
• I’ve never been a fan of the DS9 uniforms. I think the TNG ones look much better and I wish they had just used those.
• The sequence with Sisko talking to the Prophets in the wormhole drags on for way too long. The episode is great until this point and then it really bogs down with frustrating dialogue and no plot movement. If this sequence had been edited down we might be looking at a 10/10 episode.
• I’ll get into it more as I review more eps, but Avery Brooks is such an awkward actor. He overacts and his delivery of lines is often sharply at odds with the emotion he is supposed to be conveying (like when he seems to be smiling while chewing out a subordinate). From watching interviews and other extra content of him, it’s clear to me that he is simply a weird dude, and that has made it slightly easier for me to swallow his unusual acting style...but only slightly. I think that Sisko is the most well-written of the ST captains by far, but Brooks’ weirdness as a person and an actor makes me rank him slightly below Picard and probably equal to Kirk on the all-time captain rankings.

THE UGLY

• "Never trust an ale from a god-fearing people.” Quark needs to try a Belgian abbey ale!
• Why are the Bajorans allowing Cardassian warships back into their space? I get that Bajor can’t really do much about it, but it seems like a glossed-over point that should have been a major diplomatic issue. There’s no way that, after almost a century of planety occupation and rape, the Bajorans would be cool with Cardassian soldiers taking shore leave on one of their stations.
• There is a lot of effects shots of Odo shapeshifting in this ep. I guess the effects budget must have been slashed for future eps because Odo’s shifting is seen very rarely for the next few seasons.
• Interestingly, in Sisko’s flashbacks to Wolf 359, his Vulcan captain is played by J.G. Hetzler, who would go on to play a starring role much later in the show as General Martok.

RATING: 8/10

The Saga Begins: Episode I The Phantom Menace

I just finished re-watching all six Lucas-era Star Wars films in episode order (I-VI) with the commentary and want to give my reviews of each film. Let me preface by saying that I am a lifelong Star Wars fan who grew up with the original trilogy and literally have no memory of a time in my life before SW. As such, I am not going to be totally unbiased in my reviews, but I will try to be somewhat objective.

So we begin at the beginning of the story, rather than the order in which the movie are made. In my opinion this is the best way to view the saga, because things in Episodes I-III do a great job setting up IV-VI and those latter movies will have even more emotional resonance in the context given by the prequels. Lucas likes to say that the saga is really the story of Anakin's rise, fall, and redemption, and keeping that in mind gives greater weight to the originals, especially any scene with Vader in it.

The Phantom Menace's plot is incredibly complex and when I think about trying to synopsize it, I am utterly overwhelmed by how much actually happens in two hours. There's so many characters and so many plot lines going simultaneously that I can really only summarize the plot in the most general of terms. Essentially there is a peaceful planet occupied by a militaristic corporate alliance called the Trade Federation, and the movie is about the planet's elected queen's struggle to free her people from this oppressive occupation. But also there the story of Anakin and how he is discovered by the Jedi. And also there's the beginning of the political story of Palpatine's rise to power. And there's also a huge amount of worldbuilding going on. It probably goes without saying that this movie is EPIC. Let's get into some details.

THE GOOD 

• This movie is gorgeous. The ships, the matte painting, the costumes, the sets. Everything looks amazing. Even after seeing the movie dozens of times over the last 19 years, shots like the aerials of Naboo or the Jedi starship flying towards the Trade Federation ship still take my breath away. 
• The podrace. Though it's a total ripoff of the Ben-Hur chariot race, that sequence is one of the most legendary and film history, and this ripoff is exceptionally well done. Sebulba makes a great Massala and the sounds of the pods are so well done. Ben Burtt is a genius. 
• Liam Neeson. George Lucas is terrible at writing dialogue--let's get that out of the way right now. Most actors can't speak Lucas' lines without sounding silly, wooden, melodramatic, or some combination of those. The original trilogy was blessed with two amazing actors in Alec Guinness and Harrison Ford, both of whom could make the dialogue sound good. This movie is blessed with Liam Neeson, who gives lines about midichlorians and Nubian hyperdrives enough gravitas that you almost don't question them. Almost. 
• The older I get, the more I love the politics in these prequels. Seeing Palpatine's rise from a senator on a backwater planet, to chancellor, and finally to emperor is fascinating and I think something Lucas portrayed extremely well. 
• Darth Maul is definitely an awesome bad guy. I read that the actor who played him was pissed that most of his lines got edited out of the movie, but I think the fact that he only has a couple of lines the whole time makes him that much more menacing and cool. Everything about him is great, from the makeup and costume, to his unique and wicked double-bladed lightsaber (still the coolest lightsaber design in a SW movie). 
• The final lightsaber battle. The fight between Obi-Wan and Darth Maul is the most ferocious, well-choreographed, and well-shot lightsaber battle in all 6 movies by far. The musical score by John Williams pushes it over the top into truly heart-stopping territory. It's worth all of Jar Jar's scenes just for this one fight.

THE BAD

• Do I really need to say it? Jar Jar. I don't think I hate him the way a lot of people do, but he is admittedly very annoying and distracting. And to be honest, he doesn't look good. He looks cartoonish and I think having a main character be 100% cgi was a bad idea. I also dislike that on the BluRay they redid Yoda to be cgi because he has less character and tangibility than the Frank Oz puppet.
• I mentioned it before, but Lucas sucks at writing and directing dialogue. Most of the lines vary between cringe-worthy and just plain wooden. In some cases this is appropriate, like the uptight and dispassionate way people speak in the politics scenes, but when it comes to personal stuff it makes the movie feel sterile.

THE UGLY

• There's an implication that Naboo's planetary core has water, but that isn't possible. At the immense pressures that exist in planetary cores (or even most of the mantle), water can't exist in a liquid form. Not to mention no vessel could withstand the crushing weight of an entire planetary mass pressing in on it from all sides.
• As awesome as Qui-Gon is as a character, we see how his stubbornness and arrogance leads to the fall of the Jedi and the Republic, and the rise of the Empire. Jedi's rules on training only very young children clearly exists for good reasons--reason that will be seen better in the next two movies.
• I don't get what Maul is doing after he pushes Obi-Wan down the shaft. It annoys me that such an awesome and dangerous character suddenly starts screwing around with making sparks rather than killing Obi-Wan, and then just stands there like a moron while Obi-Wan flies up and cuts him in half. Pretty disappointing ending to an incredible fight.
• I can't figure out the reasoning for setting this movie only 32 years before A New Hope. Obi-Wan's portrayed age is impossible to reconcile as a result, as he is clearly at least 65 or 70 in ANH, not the 50-ish he should be.

RATING: 9/10

Review of Orden Ogan's "Ravenhead"

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Orden Ogan Ravenhead (AFM, 2015)

Few metal scenes are as overcrowded as that of the European power metal style, but occasionally a band comes along that stands out from the crowd of generic Helloween and Hammerfall impersonators. Orden Ogan are one such band. Sporting midrange, often menacing and broody vocals, and a thick and meaty production that emphasizes low-end sounds, these German metallers don’t sound quite like any other band out there. The most common comparison is with Blind Guardian, mostly due to the plethora of layers on the vocal choruses and the occasional European folk tinges. However, Orden Ogan are a band that manages to accomplish the rare feat of paying tribute to their influences without aping them, and here on their fifth full-length offering Ravenhead, we find them in top form of blistering modern power metal assault.

Orden Ogan are probably most notable for their choruses, which contain the lavishly multi-tracked vocal choral lines pioneered by Queen and perfected by Blind Guardian. This is both a blessing and a curse. The sound itself creates to a grand and majestic air--”epic” would be the term typically associated with this sound--that has the capability to suck you in and refuse to let go with its level of catchiness. Make no mistake: songs like “F.E.V.E.R.” and “Evil Lies in Every Man” will drill their way into your skull and rebuff any efforts to dislodge them.

The flip side of this is the tendency to fall into generic “flower metal” territory during the choruses. With many tracks, this is often in stark contrast the the rest of the song. For example, on “Deaf Among the Blind” and “The Lake,” neck-breaking riffs and finger-searing solos transition into ho-hum generic power metal choruses that lend nothing to the song and are forgotten the instant the song ends.

Herein lies the biggest issue with Orden Ogan as a band (and by extension, Ravenhead as an album): their wild inconsistency. While songs like “Evil Lies in Every Man” and the title track are masterpieces of metal composition, featuring crushing riffs, catchy choruses, and intriguing song structures, songs like “A Reason to Give” and “Sorrow is Your Tale” are extremely mediocre and instantly forgotten. Even after several listen-throughs, I cannot recall a single moment of note from either of those songs.

The worst offender is the closing track, “Too Soon.” A generic power metal ballad if there ever was one, it meanders around aimlessly and seems to serve no purpose whatsoever. There is no point or emphatic climax reached on this song (or on the other slow song, “A Reason to Give”), and singer Sebastian Leverman lacks the charisma to pull off these tracks the way a more talented vocalist like Russell Allen or Eric Adams might have been able to. Someone needs to tell these guys that you can’t sing softly to distant drums and keyboards for four minutes and call it a song.

That said, when Orden Ogan are good, they are REALLY good. Whether it is the upbeat energy of “Evil Lies in Every Man,” the fire-breathing solo on “The Lake,” or the whiplash-inducing riffs on “Deaf Among the Blind,” Ravenhead has a ton to offer to listeners and is among the best albums so far this year. Check it out!

OVERALL RATING: 8/10

TOP TRACKS: “Evil Lies in Every Man”  “F.E.V.E.R.”

Top American Metal Bands of All Time

I am always shocked when I hear my fellow American metalheads wishing that they had the European metal scene around them instead of the American one. The legacy of American metal is rich and varied as any mainland European country, and it continues to thrive to this day, both with countless unknown, underground artists, as well as some of the most well-known and influential ones. Below are ten of the most important and essential American metal acts for understanding the metal scene in the good old U.S. of A.

#10 Cannibal Corpse

Disgusting. Perverse. Horrifying. These are all words that can accurately used to describe Cannibal Corpse's gore-splattered style. Obsessed with serial killers, sexual perversion, and horror movie imagery, Cannibal Corpse made a name for themselves through sheer shock value. And their shtick worked, too, as they are the highest-selling death metal band of all time. Love them or hate them, you have to give props to these guys for carving out some modicum of financial success in a genre of purely underground appeal.


#9 Manowar

Manowar receive tons of criticism from metalheads for their cheesy style and generally appalling lack of any self-awareness whatsoever. That said, let's not forget that they are one of the pioneers of the genre in America, having formed all the way back in 1980--a time when only the perversion known as hair metal could be found in the States. No matter how many layers of cheese Manowar have slapped onto their music and image over the years, they've always remained true to the metal spirit and they deserve tons of respect for that. It's also worth mentioned that vocalist Eric Adams is among the greatest the genre has ever seen, and that alone makes them worthy of this list.

#8 Slayer

Though not the most talented band on this list, Slayer's contribution to the metal scene is overwhelming when you view the scene as a whole. When they released Reign in Blood in 1986, metal as a genre took another huge leap forward--a mere four years after doing the same thanks to Metallica's debut album. Suddenly, metal became an arms race to see who could push the genre to heavier, darker, and more taboo regions than any that came before. As a result, extreme metal came into existence, consisting of subgenres like black and death metal. But without Slayer to push that envelope a little bit further, that evolution of the genre would not have started when it did.


#7 Death

The seminal band of the Tampa death metal scene, Death was simply continuing the journey towards heavier, more aggressive music than had ever been heard before. That trend was started by Metallica on Kill 'Em All and then continued by Slayer on Reign In Blood. What Death did, though, was take that defining step from thrash into death metal. With their faster, more downtuned sound, and harsher vocals, Death were setting themselves up to be imitated endlessly by younger bands of the genre for the next twenty-five-plus years and counting. Had Chuck Schuldiner not tragically died in 2001, Death would probably still be going strong today. All death metal artists owe their sound to him, and his legacy will not be soon forgotten. Rest in peace, Chuck.

#6 Iced Earth

Easily the most unique band on this list; no band before or since has ever sounded quite like Iced Earth. Early on they were defined by their blending of Master of Puppets-style thrash with Painkiller-like vocals and melodies. It was then that Jon Schaffer showed himself to be a riff master above all riff masters, establishing himself as the greatest rhythm guitarist of all time. Constant lineup changes has taken it's toll on the band at times, but the continual influx of new talent also seems to have kept the creative juices flowing for the most part. Overall, it's hard to find a band that has been as consistently great as Iced Earth have been over the last twenty years.

#5 Dream Theater
#4 Symphony X

Much like the next two entries, it makes more sense to compare these two bands in order to understand where they ought to rank in comparison to each other and the other bands on this list. At first glance, it seems no contest and that Dream Theater should be ranked higher. After all, they've been around longer, they are probably the most essential band for understanding what prog metal is, and the number and size of the accolades heaped upon the band--both on individual members and on the band as a whole--by critics, fans, and the music industry itself is without equal in the world of metal.

How, then, can Symphony X be ranked higher? Simply put, no band since the mid-eighties has had a run of albums like Symphony X's last six releases. Even more astounding: those six releases have spanned fifteen years, which marks an unrivaled run of excellence. Between the guitar fireworks of Michael Romeo, the world-shaking vocals of Russell Allen, the complex and syncopated drumming of Jason Rullo, and the sometimes soulful, sometimes bombastic keyboard work of Michael Pinnella, Symphony X manage to take the cake as not only the best American metal band of the last fifteen years, but also one of the best of all time.

#3 Megadeth
#2 Metallica


These two thrash titans are linked so irrevocably that they can only be discussed together on a list of this type. The debate has raged virtually since the beginning; who is better? The answer to that question depends on whether you prefer a band that reached heights few (if any) bands have ever reached, or a band that has consistently produced albums that ranged between very solid and transcedently great for more than 25 years. Would you take Metallica's unrivaled and historic run of albums from 1982-86, followed by a steady but undeniable decline? Or would you go with Megadeth's nearly unbroken chain of quality releases that have spanned parts of four decades and resulted in probably four times as many quality metal tunes as Metallica?

It's a tough choice, and neither one can really be considered wrong. However, I'm going with Metallica just a hair above Megadeth for one major reason: their influence as the seminal creators of thrash metal as a genre means that they are probably the fourth-most influential metal band of all time, after the Big Three of Maiden, Priest, and Sabbath. The overwhelming amount of quality music created by Megadeth over the years is a very compelling argument, though, and makes this one of the toughest picks on this whole list.

#1 Dio

Dio the person has earned this spot more so than Dio the band. Yes, Holy Diver is one of the greatest metal albums of all time, and the follow ups to it were pretty darn good too. However, Ronnie James Dio's contribution to the realm of heavy metal goes far beyond the music. His constant optimism, joy, and wisdom demonstrated to the world that metalheads could be more than just sweaty, angry dudes with long hair and tattoos. He showed how one could conduct himself with grace, professionalism, and charity while still being a total badass. In short: Ronnie James Dio was a true ambassador of the genre and he is and will continue to be greatly missed. RIP, Ronnie.

Honorable mentions: Savatage, Testament, Anthrax, Exodus, Obituary, Morbid Angel, Blue Oyster Cult.

Top 10 Metal Albums from the First Half of 2012

#10 Omerta Adrenaline Mob (Capitol)

I've written before about how my friends and I like to dream up different scenarios of our favorite metal musicians getting together and creating something truly special between them. Well sometimes those dream scenarios become reality, and such is the case with Adrenaline Mob, as prog metal legends Russell Allen (vocals) and Mike Portnoy (drums) team up to create something...not prog metal. This music rocks hard and in a straight line, with no complexities or experimentation to be found. The main draw here is Allen's monstrous, beefy vocal delivery, as he manages to sound like a more powerful, rangy version of Ronnie James Dio--a good enough reason on its own to check this out.



#9 Asphyxia Sangre Eterna (Maple Metal)

You might hear the distictive buzzsaw guitar tones and gothic keyboard work and instantly assume this was recorded in Sweden--probably even at the legendary Sunlight Studios where said sound was invented. But you would be wrong. Hailing from Serbia of all places, Sangre Eterna sound like Character-era Dark Tranquillity mixed with a bit of Eternal Tears of Sorrow--an impressive pedigree of melodeath to be sure. Their fresh and energetic take on the genre gives them a credibility that many of their copycat peers lack.



#8 Eulogy for the Damned Orange Goblin (Candlelight)

Like a more soulful version of High on Fire, Orange Goblin bring the high-intensity energy and trucker speed of Motorhead and the killer riffing of Sabbath and Zeppelin. The soulfulness of Orange Goblin is noteworthy, though, as they temper HoF's bone-jarring grit with the smooth, groovy melodies and bass lines of southern rock. In the name-dropping trend of this entry, I would have to say there is more than a little Skynard mixed into this collage of styles, especially on tracks like "Save Me From Myself." In essence, this everything good about 70's music all blended together into one especially tasteful dish.


#7 Steel Battle Beast (Nuclear Blast)

Vocalist Nitte Valo sings with balls and range that no female (and few male) vocalists in metal can match. Her range is probably the most impressive aspect, as she manages Dio-esque grit and Halford-like wailing both with equal force and gusto, while also occasionally showing off an operatic soprano more typical of her contemporaries like Tarja Turunen and Simone Simmons. Aside from the vocals, Battle Beast also offer insanely catchy choruses and riffs, soulful and technically impressive soloing, and a heavy dose of cheesy (but still awesome) synth work. Other than Valo's vox, there's not a whole lot here you haven't heard before, but for some extremely finely constructed power metal, you need to look no further than Steel.


#6 Stalingrad Accept (Nuclear Blast)

Blood of Nations was a huge (and pleasant) surprise for me (as I'm sure it was for most people). I just cannot fathom how, 30+ years after their formation and 14 since their last studio album, these German heavy metal legends were able to create arguably the finest work of their career. After that, I was prepared for Stalingrad to be killer as well, and I am not disappointed. The same fire, energy, and bare-chested swagger exists in equal quantities here. Maybe the only aspect that doesn't quite stand up to BoN is that there are no instant-standout tracks like we got in "Teutonic Terror" or "Bucket Full of Hate," but make no mistake, this still an great album from front to back. Just accept it!



#5 Rengeteg Thy Catafalque (Season of Mist)

Rengeteg is this year's winners of the To Mega Therion award for "I don't know what the hell I'm listening to but I freaking love it!" Highly experimental, but still firmly rooted in the metal sound (in other words, there's enough heavy riffs, fast drumming, and emphatic vocals to remind you what genre you're actually listening to), Thy Catafalque manage to blend black metal, avant-garde, folk, death metal, prog, ambient, and electronic into one tightly-delivered and mesmerizing package.



#4 Batavi Heidevolk (Napalm)

Heidevolk have returned with what is easily their best album to date. Though they still are and always will be defined by their spectacularly unique dual harmonized vocal leads, the band has really spread their wings on this recording by incorporating heart-stopping riff progressions and tempo changes, more leads, solos, folk instrumentation, and growled vocals. Probably the most noteworthy addition to their sound, however, is a newfound aggression. Some of these riffs and vocals parts are downright vicious and add a excellent spice to what could otherwise have devolved into a dull repetition of the same sonic flavors.


#3 And So It Came to Pass Dyscarnate (Siege of Amida)

I'm pretty sure the International Chiropractors Associations sponsored this album as a way of creating more business for themselves. Henceforth, when referring to a situation where I headbanged so much that I hurt myself, I will refer to that as "dyscarnating my neck." Hailing from the UK, Dyscarnate play a groovy form of death metal. The key in their creation of countless headbang-inducing riffs lies in their tempo; most of these songs are mid-tempo, with almost no blast-beating and only few periods of extended double bass to be found. Don't let that lull you into a false sense of security, though, as few albums are as unrelentingly violent or overpowering as And So It Came to Pass.


#2 Deathhammer Asphyx (Century)

The riffs. Oh the riffs! The weight and meatiness of the riffs by these Dutch death metal legends is such that you can almost feel them thickening the air around you as you listen. This is an album that manages to be incredibly heavy without trying to be "brootal," a rare feat for today' death metal scene. Even rarer, these songs have a definite tunefulness to them as well. The secret lies in their grooviness of the bass and riff progressions, and the result is an old-school death metal sound that few can achieve and even fewer have mastered the way Asphyx have.


#1 Bury the Light Pharaoh (Cruz Del Sur)

Pharaoh fall firmly into the classification of what I call "songsmiths;" they craft songs the way an artisan metalworker would craft a fine blade--shaping it, refining it, sharpening it, and polishing it until a beautiful and killer result is achieved. It can be difficult to quantify exactly what it is that makes these songsmiths so good at their crafts. Yes, the riffs and solos here are spectacular, but not better than plenty of other bands out there. Yes, the vocals are fiery and full of passion and conviction, but again, this is done better elsewhere. The real strength of Bury the Light is the way all these spectacular elements are forged together into a flawless weapon--razor sharp and pointed at your ear hole.